


Children don't fight...

by crackhead1point0lol



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, F/F, Gen, Pansexual Wanda Maximoff, Peter and Wanda are the same age, just a chaotic mess, kinda crackfic I just try to be funny, slight spoiler for WandaVison but if you haven't seen it you don't know, trying to prank Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29001735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackhead1point0lol/pseuds/crackhead1point0lol
Summary: Wanda and Peter try to prank Clint and get some people to help them...Lets see what happens on the way
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, Michelle Jones & Pietro Maximoff, Michelle Jones & Wanda Maximoff, Michelle Jones/Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker
Kudos: 17





	Children don't fight...

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic that came to my mind after watching the first 2 episodes of WandaVison. I hope you enjoy (: And of course, so you know english is not my first language so exuse any mistakes

**‘‘Breaking News “**

I’m standing here at the Stark Tower reporting. Just two minutes ago an unknown object flew out of this tower, following screams and shouts still going on. It seems that Scarlet Witch is fighting this unknown enemy. We still don’t know what is happening and have no confirmation if this a threat and if we should evacuate. Now back to the studio.

**1 week earlier**

This is all started on a wonderful day, with a clear blue sky in January. Peter and Wanda were walking home from school, which ended early since someone blew up the labs in the school and they needed to fix it.

Peter was shivering in the cold while Wanda was walking happily next to him.

“I told you to bring warmer clothes” Wanda said smugly.

“I know but I wouldn’t have needed them if Happy would have picked us up”

“Oh, come on did you forget? Today is our walking day, it’s Wednesday” Wanda chuckled. Peter was sure one of the most forgetful people she knew.

Peter grumbled and put his jacked closer around his body. Wanda was right she told him a thousand times to dress warmer, but he didn’t listen. She became like his sister who is on many occasions very annoying especially when she’s right.

“Come on Peter, we can go into the coffee shop to warm up and we can maybe if you are in the mood plan our retaliation against Clint?”, Wanda asked after she saw how much Peter was shivering.

A week before Clint had pranked them terribly, which ended with them almost missing school and very pissed teenagers. They still didn’t know how he did it, but Wanda was certain that Pietro had something to do with it.

Going into their favorite café and to their favorite table, they ordered some hot chocolate and started planning. This is the place where they could talk without interruption, so they went there often to plan things, mostly involving pranking the Avengers. Todays victim was Hawkeye aka Clint Barton.

It may surprise people, but it is quite hard to prank Clint and for that exact reason they knew that they would need reinforcement.

Creating a new group chat Peter looks questioning at Wanda:” So who will we recruit?”

“Well first and foremost we will put Harley in.”

“Aww, you thought about me. How sweet of you Wanda.”

“I know you won’t stop bugging me if I don’t let your boyfriend in and he could be useful you know and of course MJ. Definitely add Cassie and put Lila in, she will know how to help” sipping on her tea Wanda thought about other options. She knew one person that would help but they would need her later in this plan.

“Any ideas Diane?” asked Wanda with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, of course my lovely Fred. But first we need the date. Which day should be the big showdown?” Peter chuckled at the names. They gave them to each other shortly after they met and used them occasionally when no one was around. It was an inside joke and MJ couldn’t stop laughing after Wanda had told her.

“What about Sunday morning? A little fun before going to school on Monday and Cassie can come too to see the show. Anyways Clint is only staying till Wednesday, he can’t enjoy his whole time with us.”, a mischievous grin made its way onto Wanda’s face. “So your idea Pete?”

“Oh, yeah right sorry. You know the vents? They will be our best friends. Didn’t Lila tell you about this one way Clint showed her?” Wanda nodded her head skeptical and raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, care to elaborate? And do we need an adult? If so, I have the perfect one in mind.”

“We will need Cassie’s cart that Scott build for her. And an adult wouldn’t be too bad. Who do you have in mind?” They had enough adults as friends but one that could help them with this plan would be difficult to find. Peter had no idea which one Wanda had in mind but it better be a good one.

“Maria Hill”

“Are you sure about that? You know I don’t doubt that she could pull it off but you know it’s Maria?”

Maria Hill worked at Stark Industries and was the former deputy director of S.H.I.E.L.D., she was quite intimidating and a total badass. But she played by the rules and in the stories that Peter heard about here she never did such thing as a simple prank.

“Oh yeah a hundred percent, she wanted to get back at him for ages for a prank he played on her in S.H.I.E.L.D. And he’s not expecting her to help us.”

“Okay so the plan is…and you know if we start on…and then the big finish…place the camera...” they talked and planned. It took them a while to figure it out but in the end they had a solid plan. It was almost three o clock, so they started to pack their things. Eventually they put Peters phone on the table and started to record a voice mail for the group of mischiefs.

“Hello everybody. We guess you wonder why you are in this group; well you all know about the prank Clint pulled on us last week. And we know that everyone in this group loves mischief and we do need your help. The big finale of the prank will be on Sunday. Cassie it would be great if you could convince your dad to visit us on the weekend and Lila and Harley we will have the live feed ready for you as you probably can’t come visit us. Maria will help us with this prank and will be added in near future to this group chat. This must stay secret or it will fail. And if any of you wonder why this group chat is called steak diane, this is our great cover” “Peter it’s in no way great” “Wanda shut up it will pass and that’s what matters. As I was saying it is our cover. Luckily most of us like to cook so this is officially a cooking group. So and now to the plan….”

_Steak Diane Chat:_

_Cassie:_ I’m in my dad approved, we will come Friday evening. Just tell me what you need

 _Lila:_ I’m in but promise me that I’ll get that footage

 _Harley:_ I’m in bitches and Peter call me I miss you

 _MJ:_ Harley stop being so gross, move your heart eyes to your private chat. When do we start?

Wanda and Peter walked home knowing their plan would be a success.

**On twitter a week later:**

@avengersaregoals

What is going on? Still no news, should we be worried? Should we fear for our lives

@123wtf?

I have a feeling we’re all going to die…

@bored89734

I heard people screaming names. Who the fuck are Fred and Diane?

@MJknows45

When the steak goes wrong…lol. Guess my girlfriend really hates steak

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. This will be a multichapter fic but the updates will probably take some time


End file.
